Tying The Knot — Marriage Tips
With the increasing number of divorce cases, people find it harder to maintain a happy marriage. Marriage is a two-way thing that requires love and support from both sides.
However, marriage does not just involve two people; it involves a family, and sometimes relatives from both sides. Get all the info you need here.
1. Happy Marriage Basics
There are many secrets to having and maintaining a happy marriage:
Respect one another.
Do not easily pick on each other’s bad habits or weaknesses. Give each other chances for improvements. Also, pay attention to what your spouse speaks of or when they dress up. Your spouse needs you. A slight nod or a smile with some proper conversation may uplift his/her spirit.
Consider each other’s privacy.
Do not interfere too much with the privacy and space of your spouse. Being overly conscious and curious about what your spouse does will cause strains in the relationship.
Do not always expect your spouse to treat you better.
Do not be calculative, in the sense that expecting your spouse to give you more than you give to him/her. Do more for your spouse, helping and supporting each other in times of need.
Speak positive to your spouse. Say nice words frequently to motivate your spouse for what he/she did- this will enlighten your spouse and make him/her happier. Focus on what happens presently or in the future yet not looking back at mistakes made. However, learn from your mistakes.
Do not be too close or flirt with the opposite sex other than your spouse. This may threaten your spouse’s feelings and cause distrust towards each other. Flirting with others may form habits, and it can be harmful to the spousal relationship over time.
Marriage bonds two, but not always two becoming one. Being too close or understanding each other too much may also trigger annoyance and tension whenever things turn ugly. A separation can increase the desire to be with each other and a feeling of having to cherish each other. Of course, do not separate too much.
2. Work At Being Friends And Lovers
Marriage needs long-term maintenance. Respect, love, and patience are some values that couples share to hold the marriage together. Working at being friends and lovers is an objective and responsibility that a couple should hold onto to have a happy marriage.
It Takes Work
Stop having bad fights. This is crucial and you must avoid this to avoid turning things worse. Friends know what a bad fight is and a good fight. Do not start a quarrel with your spouse when a small problem occurs.
Even doing so, do not delay to apologize. Settle the matter immediately so that it will not grow into bigger problems that are hard to resolve.
Spend time enjoying each other. Do not neglect your spouse’ need to be with you at times just because you have something else to busy do. Spend some time with each other even for a small conversation about family managing, or a work situation that you are involved with. Spending some quality time together can also build friendship, thus preventing divorce.
Develop love and intimacy rituals. Here is how you could improve intimacy between husband and wife. Do not take everything for granted, or as a habit. Even little things like greeting your spouse when you just arrive home will affect the intimacy levels.
Greet your spouse the same way you greet your friends. Show that you are so happy to see him/her. It will also channel positive energy to your children.
Give pleasure instead of pain. What you or your spouse does changes situations; either into a better one or a worse one. Do not expect your spouse to act positively first, you should also do something to change the situation. You would not want your best friend to turn away from you, betray you, and leave you alone, right?
3. Learn How To Have Good Fights Instead Of Bad Fights
Anger sparks bad fights. Bad fights may tear a marriage apart. Bad fights can be fights involving physical abuse, verbal abuse, or silent fights meaning not approaching each other for a period of time.
Do not accuse. Do not use the word “you” most of the time during arguments or fights. Focus on using words that express how you feel. Do not criticize your spouse for everything. Examine yourself first for your mistakes.
Do not bring back past issues. Stick to the current issues you want to discuss with your spouse. Ugly past issues will trigger greater tension between a couple. If it is past, let it be. Forgiving is a great way to cherish one another.
Choose the “right” topics. Do not fight over tiny matters. Fighting just because of fighting is harmful over time for a marriage. If you are unhappy about your spouse’s bad habits or weaknesses, let him/her join you in resolving the issues together instead of keeping anger to yourself.
Find a suitable time to fight. Do not raise unhappy issues when your spouse is under work pressure. Do not argue when your spouse is extremely exhausted or tired after a long day of work.
Control your tones and actions. Do not raise your voice easily towards your spouse. Do not start name-calling or fighting in front of your children. These affect your spouse’ emotions and lower his/her self-esteem. Walk away if you must to avoid aggressive fights.
Be flexible to cure fights. Learn from your mistakes. Be able to take in good observations from your spouse. Try to help your spouse in things or events that he/she feels they lack from you. If possible, resolve matters or fights before going to bed.
4. Develop Rituals For Intimacy
Intimacy is essentially important for a married couple. Intimacy brings closeness and togetherness between a couple, either through the feeling of love or sexual relations. Therefore, developing rituals for intimacy is a form of responsibility one must have towards his/her spouse. These are some rituals you can consider developing.
Stay attractive. Do not be boring to look at; make yourself attractive to seek attention from your spouse. Try something special on occasionally. Dress smartly when going out with her your spouse one day. Put on light make-up even just taking him a lunch.
Send each other love messages during the day. At work, take some time to call up your spouse to say a few nice words. Send some love messages through texts or e-mail to tell him/her “I love you”. This positive act will surely gain admiration from your spouse.
Exchange massages. After a long day of work, it would be fun to have your spouse give you foot rubs or a massage on the back. Hence, do the same for your spouse. Meanwhile, you can share stories or thoughts with your spouse, where intimacy comes along the way.
Carry out recreational activities together. Take a short walk together. Go for a jog together. Cycle together. Exercising not only benefits you in maintenance of your physical health and relieves mental stress; it also bonds a couple closer together, as you are able to have your spouse join you in your daily routine.
Cuddle each other when watching television. There will be times when you and your spouse choose different television programs or follow different program schedules. Still, be there with your spouse. Sit with your spouse, try to understand the program he/she is watching, and cuddle with him/her. This creates a feeling of warmth between a couple.
5. Learn To Be Kind And Caring
Being kind and caring should not go only towards others; your spouse needs it most. Tying the knot only once is what most people wish for, but sometimes life does not go your way.
There are three major rules for a happy marriage: trust, respect, and love.
When you follow these three rules, you will find yourself learning to be kind and caring for your spouse.
Be available for your spouse. You are important to your spouse. Your spouse may rely on you for many things or ask for your opinion on almost everything. Be there for him/her. Care and do not neglect his/her needs.
Do not take your spouse for granted. Do not let out your anger easily or throw tantrums with your spouse because of irrational reasons. Do not abuse; either being physically, verbally, or sexually. Being kind and caring also means understanding how he/she feels if you did mean things to him/her.
Forgive. Be kind and generous to forgive your spouse for whatever he/she had done in the past. Leave the bad past behind. If there is no forgiveness, there is no hope for a greater future together. This is the greatest love act of all and brings great benefits for a long-lasting marriage.
Why Is Being Kind And Caring Important?
It leads you to a positive marriage life. Being kind and caring to your spouse brings greater intimacy towards each other. Being caring makes both of you happy, too, as your spouse starts to appreciate you more in daily life.
It fulfills your spouse’s emotional needs. As you are being kind and caring, you become more observant towards your spouse’s needs. Thus, you become more careful and alert in order to help your spouse in times of need.
6. Why It Is Important To Keep Your Marriage Together
Marriage is a lifetime commitment. In reality, marriage can be hard to keep together when one or both are not committed enough, or did not manage to change some of the bad situations.
However, marriage does not just involve two people. These are some reasons why it is important to keep marriage together.
1. Think of your kids.
Getting married means settling down and starting a family. If a marriage turns sour, and did not work out well, it forms the greatest impact on your kids. Your kids may not understand the actual situation; they will feel lost and empty, especially when both parents only care about their own feelings and not for each other or neglected the kids.
When you still have your wedding ring on, and are married to your spouse, you are highly respected by others. Especially for women, you will not easily succumb to sexual harassment with your wedding ring on as others respect you for your loyalty towards your husband.
3. Reduce health risk.
When you are loyal to your spouse and keep your marriage together, you will not have sexual relationship with another. Thus, it will prevent having physical health problems relating to sexual intercourse with more than a partner such as AIDS, HIV, syphilis, etc.
Life is easy and content when you have your spouse stay with you no matter what happens. When you are facing stress, your spouse will always be there to give you great advice or suggestions to improve yourself.
Keeping a marriage together gives support to each other, helping one to be successful. With love and care to uphold a marriage, emotional, mental or physical support can be given to each other, which direct and help each other to be successful in life.